Personal Stories/Opinions
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I, like many other survivors am appalled at the statements by Horsman Hogan and her LOVE partner Margaret Jervis of BFMS. Why is false memory only related to victims/survivors of abuse. I can assure both of these women that my memories are as vivid as when the abuse was inflicted upon me, is Horsman Hogan referring to herself as genetically defective, wasn't she herself in a institution. I have read the stories previously with sadness and frustration. I will try to share some of my story here, who knows, perhaps a brother or sister may recognise something that tells me that they are related to me as I continually search for my family.
I was born of a Irish woman in London and abandoned at 9 days old. I was then placed throughout several different homes in England. At the age of 4 I was transferred from a protestant home to an orphanage in Dublin, these arrangements were made by what was then called an "Irish Liason Officer" working for the then London county council. It would appear now that her role was to return children of Irish women to their parents natural country for fear of a decrease in the catholic numbers,thus I was baptised 2 days after I arrived in Dublin. There is a reference in the book "Suffer little children" to this home which was especially catering to children who were in danger of being protestant.
From this home after 3 years I was given to a family to "go and live with them, they are your new Mammy and Daddy". New Mammy and Daddy lasted for nearly 3 years in which time I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused, so much so that I was removed from their care by an adoption agency and placed in Goldenbridge.
During my time in Goldenbridge I was subjected to many forms of abuse and added to that the very people I had been removed from still continued to have access to me and I was allowed to be taken out on a Sunday back to their home where the sexual abuse continued. Unbelivably after nearly 4 years in Goldenbridge I was returned to live within the same family. I will add here that I was never adopted and the input from the adoption agency was only due to the fact that the first home had requested their help in removing me from that abusive family and they had also tried unsuccessfully to have me adopted. I could go on for ever about the outcome of my life,I went from running away to ending up in St Brendans, St Ita's Portrane, Jervis Street drug clinic, High Park Magdalene Laundry and many more since I left the country.
I have through sheer determination found my Birth mother (since deceased) and 2 sisters but I continue to look for the rest of my family. I found out that the adoption agency has an enormous file (their words) which they refuse to give me full access to.Having drip fed me bits of information for over 20 years they recently informed me that as there is no legislation in place I may not have the file. What are they trying to hide? All I want is to find the remainder of my family. I often wonder if any of them could be in somewhere like St Ita's locked away from the world.
This agency could hold the key to my family being re-united but also state that they did not know I had 2 sisters. So is what they are saying that a Liason officer could take a child/children from one country to another without any background history, even that could'nt have been legal in mid 50,could it? Wonder if I am really me!!!!!!!! Jesus paddy it's great to get this off me chest. To all the people who use this site I hope you find what you are looking for. Justice and peace - may you all, like me, find your families.
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